


Twisted Tails: The OTP Meme

by DterminD



Series: The Crystal Collection [6]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Adorkable, Affection, Canon Compliant, Coffee, Culinarian Questline (Final Fantasy XIV) Spoilers, Culinarian Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Dancing, Espresso con Panna, Feels, Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Interviews, Kissing, M/M, Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Married Couple, Married Life, Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Named Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), POV Third Person, Patch 5.3: Reflections in Crystal Spoilers, Requited Love, Romance, Specific Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Tags Contain Spoilers, Teasing, Tumblr Memes, Tumblr Prompt, crystal tower spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:48:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28148604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DterminD/pseuds/DterminD
Summary: Twisted Tailstakes place after the events of patch 5.3, several weeks after the Scions’ return to the Source. The story focuses on the new — and yet all too familiar — relationship between Raphail Somnalune, Warrior of Light, and G’raha Tia. Inspired by the “OTP meme” making the rounds on Tumblr.Just a few short questions, they said. How could such a simple,ordinarything be difficult for the greatest power couple in the realm? It’s even off the record! When it comes to the Mythril Eye and its insatiable search for the extraordinary, nothing is ever so simple for a pair of heroes with such a long and storied history. And yet there is no horizon that Raphail and G’raha cannot cross together. That is,ifthey can remember that there is a reporter in the room in the first place.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Series: The Crystal Collection [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819948
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Twisted Tails: The OTP Meme

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILER WARNING: _Twisted Tales_ contains spoilers for the _Shadowbringers_ expansion and Patch 5.3. Please complete the main story quest "Reflections in Crystal" before reading. The identity of the Crystal Exarch is revealed.
> 
> CONTINUITY WARNING: Events from [_Memoirs of a Miqo’te_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25123735/chapters/60870622) and previous stories in _The Crystal Collection_ are mentioned. Reading the previous _Crystal Collection_ stories first will help explain many of the specific references and in-jokes. Readers that aren’t familiar with _Memoirs_ can still enjoy the story, but references to Raphail-specific subjects may feel out of place or unexplained. In particular, both Raphail and the Exarch refer to Raphail by his birth name, Raph’ir Sahra.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Since this was inspired by a Tumblr meme, please feel free to use these questions and/or this format for your own OTPs. Most people I’ve seen fill it out from their own perspective, but pretending to ask most questions directly to Raph and G’raha was too good of a chance to pass up. I encourage you to try this with your own pairings and see what kind of delightful nonsense you can produce!
> 
> Please be aware that the final two questions do break character, since they’d be a bit difficult to answer from their own perspectives.

# 1\. Who is the most affectionate?

The moment the question is asked, they glance at each other and grin. It is the first sign that there will be no victor while either of them live.

“Surely you must concede that there is no limit to how far my Warrior of Darkness will go to please me. The entirety of Eorzea knows it. I fear for Alisaie’s eyes, should they stick in place while she is rolling them one of these days.”

“He made _sandwiches_. In the middle of an impending _Calamity_. After hauling me to _another_ _star_ in order to save my life by sacrificing his _own_. He _still_ cries when I say his name sometimes. Look at his Twelve’s-damned face and tell me _I’m_ the problem here.”

The temperature in the room rises by three degrees, but neither is paying attention.

# 2\. Big spoon/little spoon?

Raph answers first, but his gaze shifts to several different places on the rug despite his usual confidence.

“What sort of husband would I be, if I didn’t take care of him? He _used_ to be an old man. And he gets into too much trouble when I let him go.”

G’raha shakes his head and reaches over to take Raph’s hand in his.

“This is _off_ the record, Raph’ir. Though… is it so unwelcome for them to know the truth? After all you have suffered, it is only right to let _me_ comfort _you_ , too. There is no shame in it.”

Raph nods, and a small smile crosses his face.

“Fine. We’ll call him my understudy, then.”

# 3\. Most common argument?

“Everyone knows that the Second Serving in the Crystarium has unparalleled _espresso con panna_. Raph’ir has learned to make it for me here in Eorzea, but it is a pity that such a _cultured_ individual simply does not appreciate its subtleties.”

“How many of those damned things did I suffer through, just for the pleasure of _your_ company? I can _still_ taste the cream and sugar in the back of my throat. Did you really have to order one for me _every_ time? I _swore_ I’d make you drink it black someday. You’re in _my_ house now, _catboy_.”

There is a pause, as if neither is quite sure that the other is joking — but G’raha finally shrugs.

“Of course. I shall look forward to it, once you have tired of rising early to surprise me with your latest innovation on the cup. The one you made this morning was quite good, I must say.”

Raph’s head ends up in his hands. No further objections are voiced.

# 4\. Favorite non-sexual activity?

“Adventuring, of course. Now that I am sturdier for my experiences in Norvrandt, I can join Raph’ir and the other Scions in exploring more of Eorzea. I need no longer confine myself to the background out of excessive caution. The past and the future must not be forgotten, but I would see more of the _present_ that I have fought so hard to protect.”

G’raha’s voice begins to shake a little in his eagerness, and Raph reaches over to tug affectionately on his husband’s slender braid.

“I’ll show you every ilm of it by the time we’re done. It’s what I wanted to do _before_ you fell asleep, y’know.”

“I… do know _now_. And you are not the only one.”

# 5\. Who is most likely to carry the other?

G’raha’s face starts to turn red before the question is fully asked. Raph chuckles and raises a teasing eyebrow at him before diving in.

“Should I tell them, I wonder? I always planned to keep it between the two of us, but—“

“Y-You… _please_ tell me you are not serious. I was barely even awake in my own _body_ at the time, to say nothing of… ah… _other_ matters! A-And besides, anything is possible! If you should someday injure yourself, or need my help, I would give my utmost to attempt—!“

Raph’s grin widens until it strains at his cheeks.

“Settle down, catboy. You’ve already carried me through my fair share of battles, haven’t you? I’d be lost without your healing prowess. Kind of like what _you_ lost back in the Crystal—“

“Next. Question. Please. I beg of you.”

# 6\. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Raph glances at G’raha and his gaze softens a little as their eyes meet.

“There are many answers I could give, but… he gets so worked up every time I tell him the real one, so I’ll settle for that. Those beautiful eyes are that color naturally, it seems, not just whenever I make him cry. And I’ll fight anyone that thinks they’re weird. Even _him_ , if I have to.”

G’raha’s lip starts to tremble, and he takes a moment to compose himself.

“I… t-thank you, Raph’ir. The words themselves mean so very much, but when you look at me like that… how many people can say they have seen your true face on display? You can shape it so well on command, but I alone get to see the _real_ you. It… remains my greatest joy.”

Raph wastes no time in pulling him close, but the slight tremble in his own voice as he mumbles something about “your fault, y’know” makes it entirely unclear who is comforting who.

# 7\. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for each other?

“I… panicked, I suppose. The timing was all so very wrong. Telling him back then, in light of everything I planned to do, seemed so _selfish,_ even if I thought for one bell that he would return my feelings. Rammbroes disagreed, of course. He would want that stated.”

G’raha scratches absently at the tattoo on his neck.

“By the time we met again in Norvrandt, keeping the secret of the Crystal Exarch’s plan was too important to my goal of saving Raph’ir. The strength to be honest with my feelings came later, after my secrets had all been dragged into the light.”

Despite G’raha’s conflicted words, Raph wears a grim smile.

“Don’t worry. It wasn’t graceful for me, either. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been that furious in my life. I wanted to tell you how much you meant to me that day, but… when I let my guard down, everything hit me at once. I’m glad I got there eventually, even if I’m still ashamed of the way I behaved at first.”

“Mayhap it is simplest to say that we both became the greatest of fools when we realized our feelings for each other. Fortunately, it was not enough to stop what had already begun.”

# 8\. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

The two glance at each other and grin from ear to ear like children — but there is hesitation in Raph’s eyes as G’raha speaks.

“Sometimes even I do not understand how this little game of ours began. Warrior of Light and Warrior of Darkness are his given titles, of course, though they serve more as terms of endearment by this point for me. He is, and has always been, my hero. And he has gifted me the use of his birth name, if that counts. But there is also—“

Raph interjects at a volume that belongs better outside.

“C-Catboy? I, um, borrowed it from Giott in Norvrandt. We both use it these days. I’m not normally one for nicknames, but this guy brings out the worst in me. He was ‘old man’ and Ser Exarch within the first day or two of our relationship. ‘Idiot’ goes back farther. And Raha… well. We all know what that means, even if my first time using it wasn’t exactly planned.”

Inexplicably, G’raha seems to be trying to hold back laughter as he watches Raph squirm.

“Hah! It was a welcome surprise, and I will treasure it until the end of my days. But… dear though it is, it is _not_ enough to buy my silence on the _other_ nickname you have for me, you know. If you have a better offer, you should be certain to make it quickly.“

“S-Shut it, catboy. It’ll embarrass _you_ as much as _me_ if it gets out, and you _know_ it.”

“I suppose I must agree to your terms. For the present, at least. What a pity.”

# 9\. Who worries the most?

Both of them blink in unison, leaving a pregnant pause in the air before glancing at each other. In the end, it is Raph that speaks first.

“This… is a trick question, right? You’re talking to the Twelve’s-damned _Warrior of Light_ and the _time-traveling heir to the Allagan Empire_. In all honesty… Raha’s probably the only person that worries about things as much as I do.”

G’raha’s smile is tender, but the regret in his eyes speaks volumes.

“We worry _too much_. It has been said over and over again by people far wiser than we. But when worlds and lives must hang in the balance, it would be cruel to ask less of us, would it not? Someday, perhaps, all will be settled. And when that day comes… we will shed the burden of worry once and for all. That is my hope, at least.”

“Mine too. So we’ll have to make sure it comes as fast as possible. Together.”

Raph leans over to give G’raha a gentle kiss to seal the promise.

# 10\. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

G’raha smirks at Raph, but it’s clear he knows what’s coming for this question.

“As you mentioned earlier, I dedicated myself quite _often_ to memorizing your orders in Norvrandt. The challenge kept my aging mind grounded in reality, no matter how lifelike my dreams became. Not that you _appreciated_ the favor, most times. How ungrateful.”

“Oh, you _remembered_ , all right. So you could cheerfully order the exact _opposite_ of what you knew I wanted every time. Have you always been that way, or did something upstairs slip after your three hundred year nap?”

“I am not the one that _allowed_ it, my Warrior of Darkness. But in all fairness, I will concede that you have a memory to match your legend. In all the times you brought me meals to coax me out from the Umbilicus, you never once failed to take my preferences into account. And I never even stated them as such. You… just _knew_ , from listening to me talk during our free time.”

“Heh. I was a manservant to the world’s crankiest codger before I was ever a Warrior of anything. Did you expect any less from me?”

Raph, still sitting, performs a grandiose bow that is limited by his seated position.

# 11\. Who tops?

G’raha’s eyes widen several ilms as Raph leans forward with his elbows on his knees. His face is surprisingly serious and unreadable.

“Thal’s balls. Is _nothing_ truly sacred anymore? I mean, I’m not ashamed, exactly, but… it’s such a limiting question. Maybe some relationships can be defined that way, but if you ask me, romance is a waltz. The leader should _change_ , sometimes. It would be selfish to take everything, even if it were asked, without giving something in return.”

He finally smiles as G’raha reaches over to ruffle his hair.

“Let us say that I am content to follow wherever my hero should lead… most of the time. But I would be remiss if I neglected to provide him the challenge he desires every now and then. That should suffice as an answer, yes?”

A rare hint of a blush crosses Raph’s face, but he manages to maintain his composure.

“Good enough for me. Anything else… we can discuss later tonight, _away_ from prying eyes.”

# 12\. Who initiates kisses?

“I like to think we both give as good as we get in this matter. It was _Raph’ir_ that first kissed _me_ , though, as I recall. Never in my wildest dreams did I envision that particular event taking place on the floor of the Ocular. He… must have unusual tastes.”

“Given what I might have done to you _instead_ , had I been less concerned for your age, I think my tastes are well within reason. Besides, you never objected in the moment—”

The end of the sentence is cut off as G’raha interrupts him with a slow, lingering kiss. It lasts a fraction of a bell too long for comfort before G’raha pulls back, wearing a playful grin.

“True enough. Nor shall I — in any other.”

# 13\. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Raph glances down at his hand, already entwined with G’raha’s. The eternity band on his fourth finger seems to sparkle in the light.

“I’ll take the blame for this one. As it turns out, this idiot doesn’t always remember he has the right to reach for it whenever he wants. He’s always so focused on doing his best for me and everyone else around him that I have to resort to petty thievery instead. Can you imagine?”

G’raha gives him a slow smile.

“Guilty as charged, though I _have_ made strides in overcoming that _unpleasant_ habit. And I know _you_ enjoy getting to surprise me every time I forget. Perhaps it evens itself out for now.”

# 14\. Who kisses the hardest?

G’raha’s face turns red as he starts to stammer. Raph simply leans back and smirks.

“I… can you _blame_ me? Hundreds of years of dreaming, locked away from all human touch, knowing what I wanted most lay so far beyond my reach? And then I chose to wait another hundred, knowing I could not truly have him at the end of it all. Pray forgive my lack of… proper restraint, now that duty no longer binds me. My patience left me decades ago.”

“Sorry, catboy. I’ll not forget your sins anytime soon. Such hunger just reminds me that you’re no longer the fragile old man you once were. I don’t have to be as careful anymore myself.”

“Fragile? Hah! I will show _you_ fragile.”

G’raha is halfway into Raph’s lap with a dangerous glint in his eyes before he recalls where he is, and that he is not alone. It does not take him long to deflate into an embarrassed pout.

“Ah… _another_ time, mayhap.”

# 15\. Who wakes up first?

“He’s a bloody _Seeker of the Sun_. Do I have to say more? I used to sleep in until _noon_ some days, before I met him. It was _glorious_. But I guess it’s worth it, even if he _is_ a walking chronometer. That espresso con panna won’t make itself while he gets dressed.”

“You _did_ say you intended to show me every last ilm of Eorzea, Raph’ir. And I will hold you to that promise. Did you think I wanted to see it all by starlight?”

And then, more quietly:

“Besides, it is not as if you never wake _me_ early for your _own_ pursuits. You were the one that said that the sunlight makes me look even more radiant than usual. Or was that hyperbole?”

Raph looks as if he has swallowed Godbert Manderville’s used bathwater.

“It… was not. I’ve wasted too many mornings without that view in my life already,”

# 16\. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

G’raha makes a face as he looks up at Raph.

“No, _thank_ you. I have slept enough _already_ , as I am sure I have told anyone who will listen.”

“Yeah, yeah. You _say_ that, but your face and body say otherwise since you got back from Norvrandt. I’m beginning to suspect you’d rather sleep in with me than drink that damned espresso. You’re just not willing to lose the game enough to say it for yourself.”

“N-Noon would be… most unbecoming of us, my Warrior of Darkness. But mayhap a _few_ more moments of rest each morning would suit us both.”

# 17\. Who says I love you first?

“Raph’ir. Sit _down_ and let me answer the question. Is it so hard for you to admit that I was faster for once? I fear that _neither_ of us was as forthcoming as we ought to have been. The first time came several hundred years too late. These days, we are evenly matched.”

Raph sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, refusing to meet G’raha’s gaze.

“It has nothing to do with you. _I’m_ the one that shouldn’t have left it unsaid for as long as I did. It’s so much easier to put love into actions and thoughts than words, even now. I can _play_ at being suave and romantic when it’s useful or fun, but when it actually matters, I overthink it too much. I’m a mess. You deserve better, y’know. After everything.”

G’raha reaches out and smooths the fur on Raph’s frazzled tail.

“As eager as I was to hear it from your lips, I always knew. It was _behind_ all of your words, if not contained in the traditional three. And you _did_ say it, eventually. You still do.”

Raph swallows hard and returns to his seat as ordered, but he opens his mouth one last time. When he answers, his voice is quiet but steady.

“Yeah. But it’s still not enough to convey everything I feel, even if it’s true that I do love you. Heh… never thought I’d be this tongue-tied by an old man. Life’s full of surprises.”

# 18\. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch? Bonus: what does it usually say?

“Lunch? Now _there’s_ a concept. How do you fit a proper love note on a piece of toast and a mug of tea on the way out the door? I could take the time to make us both better lunches, I guess, but I’d have to prioritize it over other things. Like espresso. Actually, that’s a good idea—“

“I believe you have _thoroughly_ made your point, Raph’ir. Without answering the actual _question_. There _are_ little notes between us, are there not? Like the ones you leave me in the mail so often. Even when we must be apart for the day, we still share in each other’s thoughts. Many disagreements and confessions have been resolved that way. Mayhap I should have come up with such a plan myself back in Norvrandt. It might have made things easier.”

“Heh. I posted plenty of notes to that damned door of yours, at least. You got pretty fast at removing them by the end, too. Didn’t want the entire Crystarium to hear what the infamous Warrior of Darkness had to say about our nights together, huh?“

“T-That… it is simply that I wished to keep such sentiments to _myself_. And I could not dare to attempt a response of my _own_ , at the time. The manager of suites would have no doubt publicized the matter to every corner of the star, given an opportunity.”

“Yeah. But hey, thanks for admitting that you write them yourself _now_. At least I only have to lie about where I hide the best ones from now on.”

G’raha’s sigh in response is heavy enough to suit the old man he used to be.

# 19\. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

G’raha blushes as he starts to answer.

“I suppose I did, in a manner of speaking. I thought I was clever enough to avoid detection, but… I fear Rammbroes was ever one step ahead of what he refers to as my eccentricities. I ended up telling him everything over the course of several nights, while the Warrior of Light was busy climbing stairs in the Tower. Keeping that confidence, despite his objection to my foolish insistence on keeping my own counsel, was kinder than I deserved.”

He looks over at Raph as the latter grins, showing the tips of his fangs.

“Thanks for sharing, catboy. But I think they meant when we _actually_ became lovers, not when your infatuation first went unintentionally public.”

G’raha covers his face with his hands.

“Y-You could _help_ , you know? A-And there is less to speak of in regard to that moment, too. I was convinced that the Scions and the rest of the Crystarium would feel slighted if I told them I had spared any time for my own personal joy. Raph’ir was always circumspect whenever anyone asked directly. I fear it went formally unstated until the day he proposed.”

“I knew you’d struggle with the extra attention, so I figured it was better to divert it at the time. Which is to say that _everyone_ knew by the time we admitted it. Hells, _they_ knew well before I knew my _own_ feelings. You were the one to tell them as soon as we got engaged, though. Y’shtola told me later it was like watching a child at his first Starlight festival.”

# 20\. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

G’raha’s smile is a little self-conscious, but he looks prouder than his humble tone suggests.

“Our friends, despite my many initial misgivings, were not difficult to win over. I daresay they fought as hard as they did in Norvrandt, in part, to see it happen. So many of them have lost the chance to dedicate their lives to the ones they love, and mayhap it does their hearts some good to know that their dearest friend will not have to join them on that path. One has only to look at their raised eyebrows, rolled eyes, and quick exits to know they are happy for us.”

Raph, for his part, looks more thoughtful.

“As for family, I’m afraid neither of us has the luxury of asking. I suspect that this is not quite the road that my mother would have chosen for the last of her surviving sons, given that it’s my duty now to pass on her name and bloodline. That said… if I knew them all as well as I want to believe, I think she and my siblings would approve. Their runt of a son and little brother grew up, became a hero, and married a prince, didn’t he? Sounds pretty good on paper.”

G’raha gently puts an arm around his shoulders, not fooled by his flippant attitude.

“I never had the pleasure of meeting them, but… from all that I have read over the years, and all the stories you have told me, I know they are proud of you, Raph’ir. It is my greatest honor to help maintain their legacy, along with that of all those whom we have lost. My own ancestors, too, deserve a happy ending, do they not? It was Princess Salina’s dearest wish, after all.”

# 21\. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

“Would you believe I used to find the idea of dancing _embarrassing_ when I was a kid? My adopted father wanted someone to stand in for him at social functions, but he sure picked the wrong kitten to train. I damn near drove him to drink extra for a few months.”

Raph gets up from his seat, stretches, and reaches a hand out toward G’raha.

“As it turns out, having a good partner instead of a string of old ladies helps take the edge off. Get lost in the music, or in someone special, and there’s nowhere your feet can’t take you. And, of course, there are the war dances they practice in the Near East. _Those_ have _utility_.”

“R-Raph’ir… d-do you truly… I mean, now? In the middle of—?!”

“On your feet, catboy. I’m waiting.”

G’raha joins him for an abbreviated waltz on the spot, his scarlet cheeks far less noteworthy than the helpless grin that he can’t quite manage to control.

# 22\. Who cooks more / who is better at cooking?

“ _One_ of us has scored a _perfect ten_ at the _Dellemont d’Or_. A legendary achievement, or so I hear. And _one_ of us famously tried to scrape together a few passable sandwiches by the seat of his pants. I shall let _you_ determine which is which.”

“Trick question, Raha. Both of those were _me_ at different points in my culinary career, and you know it. The only thing _you’ve_ ever done is spend bells getting every last detail right on a dish you’d never made before, with a novice’s experience in a kitchen behind you. _Without_ a _cookbook_. All for the sake of making me smile after one of the worst days of my life.”

Raph nudges G’raha’s shoulder, earning a sheepish grin.

“Don’t let him fool you. He may not have Bismarck-level skills yet, but I’ll have plenty of time to teach him between adventures. And it doesn’t take Allagan secrets to make the basics well. If I’m still the one serving espresso a year from now, I’ll eat my own tail with sauce.”

# 23\. Who comes up with cheesy pick-up lines?

“Perish the thought! Romance should be artless and _boldly_ delivered, not forced into some sort of childish approximation of the goal! Why should I hesitate in telling this old man of mine _precisely_ where and how I plan to touch him? What harm does it do to name the ways his body brings life to mine? There is poetry in that, I think. Not that he requires much convincing.”

G’raha gives him a sidelong glance between his eyelashes.

“Artless, you say? How strange. I feel as if I am watching a stage play unfold before my very eyes as we speak. And while your pretty words can be fun in the right moment… I fear you are correct that my patience is most unworthy of the effort they require.”

“Heh. Perhaps you would prefer a little comedy, instead. When I’m through with you, Thal’s balls will have nothing on me.”

“… _that_ is not _comedy_ , Raph’ir. It is _tragedy_.”

# 24\. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

“It has been said before that in the heat and strain of battle, romance and affection awake. I cannot say I disagree, but… if I had a gil for every time I was slow to draw enemy fire or failed to finish a spell in time due to Raph’ir’s vile mutterings, I would be wealthy beyond belief.”

“Watching you fight out there, all proud and excited and so _very_ talented despite your long nap… how can I _not_ voice my approval? And you _could_ stop standing next to me in _every_ battle, y’know. If you ask me, the lord doth protest too much.”

“Twelve forfend. If I stop you, you will find other places and other times to distract me. At least this way, I know to _expect_ it — and I can take it out on you _later_ , once the battle is over.”

“Heh. And I wondered why you always choose the _first_ bell of every dawn as the perfect time to get handsy in your sleep. These questions are getting more useful by the minute.”

# 25\. Who needs more assurance?

Both glance at each other and smile before Raph takes the lead.

“After everything we’ve been through, I would be the worst sort of fool to think that this old man could ever look elsewhere. If there was even a chance of such a thing, we wouldn’t be here right now. But… to be honest, I haven’t really asked about _past_ lovers. Even though he’s told me how awful others used to be about his eyes, I have trouble believing that _nobody_ looked at him in twenty-four years and saw beneath all of that prior to me. K-Krile _does_ call him Raha too.”

G’raha chuckles and leans his head against Raph’s shoulder.

“I _have_ offered to explain that matter, but he always insists it is none of his business, and I suppose he speaks truly. I would honor that kindness by accepting it. When it comes to _his_ past, I have the benefit of knowing everything that made it into the history books, plus hundreds of years of perspective. A little jealousy is inevitable, given that I would have gladly been his first and only… but he is mine, now and always. And I am his. That is all that matters.”

A sly grin finds its way to G’raha’s face.

“Besides, letting him worry about Krile keeps us even.”

# 26\. What would be their theme song?

“Hmm… _hmm_ hmm… hmm hmm _hmm_ …”

G’raha starts humming the familiar melody of Eternal Wind without even needing to think. At first, Raph gazes at him with rapt attention, smiling along with every note. As the song continues, however, Raph starts to swallow hard, glancing down to the rug beneath him.

Eventually his eyes close, not quite hiding his tears from view.

Only then does G’raha stop and reach up to caress his cheek.

“How many nights did we sit and talk together before I sealed the Crystal Tower away? I never expected one of them to feature the legendary Warrior of Light listening to this humble historian stretch his voice beside the fire. I do not recall how old that song is, or where it first came from… but it has been with me since I was a boy. It was an honor to share it then. And now, too.”

It takes Raph several moments to compose himself enough to continue.

# 27\. Who would sing their child back to sleep?

“ _My_ voice would most likely _wake up_ a sleeping child.”

G’raha shakes his head at Raph and chuckles.

“Come now, Raph’ir. It is unlike you to lie so extravagantly. Have you not taught me that the best lies are often the simplest? All it would take to disprove your theory is a performance. Perhaps a short one? Here. I will compose something to serve as accompaniment.”

“I… would rather swallow a rapier sideways, and you know it.”

“Oh, very well. I suppose _I_ shall have to volunteer, in that case. But I will _not_ go so far as to corroborate his lie. His singing voice is _fine_. All he needs is the confidence to _use_ it. And if I might be so bold, I would… rather _enjoy_ watching him provide such comfort.”

# 28\. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

“If we are apart, it is only because something has demanded our attention elsewhere. Solving the problem at hand is the only practical solution.”

Raph nods in response to G’raha’s words.

“We’re adventurers, we’re lovers, and we’re married — but at the end of the day, we’re here to shape a brighter future for Eorzea. We can’t afford to forget that entirely. The needs of this star never stop growing. Threats never cease to emerge. Serving and protecting those in pain and in need is what we are here for, and we’ll do that whenever we must, even if it means long days and nights apart sometimes. I… thought I’d never find someone that felt the same way.”

G’raha smiles up at him.

“Fortunately, I have ever been an _independent_ sort. And watching him shine in defense of this star and her people… there are times when that is even _better_ than being by his side.”

# 29\. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

There’s nothing that says Miqo’te males CAN’T procreate together in the made-up world of the game… but aside from a few necessary assumptions and interpretations to fill in gaps, I’m trying to keep this particular OTP plausibly close to established canon out of respect for the characters and world of FFXIV that I love. I would reserve any major headcanon deviations involving technological/magical reproduction or a surrogate for an AU someday if I _need_ to see it happen.

I think both Raph and G’raha would make great parents, and any kids they had would be amazing in their own right! Raph always wanted kids someday to carry on his family’s name and make up for the losses he suffered as a child. Leaving that unfulfilled is the only real regret he brings to this relationship, and it’s pretty sad to think he’ll never get to walk his own path as a father. Similarly, depending on the specifics of how the Allagan bloodline can transfer, this pairing means that G’raha remains the last of the Allagans (as far as anyone knows) too.

There’s always the possibility of adoption, of course. If either of them should come across a child in need of a happy home, I don’t doubt they’d take the opportunity for that adventure. Keeping the child for themselves instead of placing them with a more stable family that isn’t always fighting on the front lines would take some explaining, though. Raph wasn’t even willing to consider _marriage_ until he realized G’raha was the only person that could ever truly understand and accept his commitment to Eorzea as the Warrior of Light.

# 30\. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

One of the many things I imagine them doing as they readjust to Hydaelyn is spending a lot of time helping out at Menphina’s Arms in Idyllshire. Not having kids of their own doesn’t mean they can’t be big influences in the lives of other kids in need! And Zhloe… needs the help.

This also allows Raph to process some of the remaining trauma of his childhood, as he spent several years in the care of a dysfunctional orphanage ruled over by a cruel headmaster. Doing work for Zhloe on his own has gone a long way toward that already, but it would be something special to make a real difference alongside his best friend and husband. Inspiring and supporting a new generation of adventurers like the ones he and G’raha always wanted to become would mean more to him than any heroic legacy he leaves as the Warrior of Light!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading _Twisted Tails_! This one isn’t exactly a proper story, but it does give a lot of hints about possible future stories in _The Crystal Collection_ , in addition to winking and nodding at things that have already happened so far. I hope it can serve as a way to interest more people in the collection itself as well as being a fun, short read on its own.
> 
> If you enjoyed this story, comments, questions, and/or kudos are always welcome. And, of course, I hope you’ll consider sticking around for the other stories in _The Crystal Collection_ , or some of my other works as well!
> 
> For more information on my current writing schedule and the other FFXIV stuff I spend my time on, please check out my [Carrd site](https://raphsdesk.carrd.co/) at your convenience.


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